Noodles with Black Bean Sauce

Both Korean and Chinese restaurants have a version of this Korean-Chinese dish, with the Korean version being saucier and the Chinese version being drier. Consider yourself warned: the black bean sauce is very messy and even the most elegant diner will be hard-pressed to stay clean. For even cooking and a nice presentation, cut all the vegetables into half-inch dice. Note: Do not substitute Chinese black bean sauce here, as it is completely different.