My days of ordering Chinese takeout are mostly behind me, but I used to love the experience. Negotiating picks from the menu. Saying “Pu Pu platter” out loud. Watching the clock for the food to arrive. The inevitable grease marks on the delivery bag. Unpacking those distinctive white cardboard boxes. But you know what ruined the fun? The takeout food hangover from the soy, the sugar, the rice, the flour, the MSG, and the regret. This version includes the chewy-crisp nuggets of pork; vibrant, fresh vegetables; a nice salty bite from the coconut aminos; and the fresh snap of scallions. The fun is back.
Break the cauliflower into florets, removing the stems. Place the florets in the food processor bowl and pulse until the cauliflower looks like rice. This takes about 10-15 one-second pulses. You may need to do this in two batches to avoid overcrowding. You should end up with about
Place the grated cauliflower in a microwave-safe container and zap for 2 minutes. This step preps the cauliflower, so it’s almost tender before the stir-frying process. If you skip this step, you run the risk of the cauliflower turning to mush. You don’t want BBQ Pork Fried Mush. (At least I don’t think you do.)
If you’re using the sesame seeds, heat a large sauté pan or wok over medium-high heat. When the pan is hot, toss in the sesame seeds and stir constantly until they’re lightly toasted, about 3-5 minutes. Keep an eye on them! They can quickly change from pale white to dark brown in a blink. When you’re happy with the toastiness, remove them from the pan and save for later.
In a small bowl, use a fork to scramble the eggs with
In the same pan, heat
Divide the fried rice onto two plates, then sprinkle each with half the chopped scallions and, if you’re into the flavor of sesame, about 1 teaspoon sesame oil and
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