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Rishtas

Appears in
Andaza: A Memoir of Food, Flavour and Freedom in the Pakistani Kitchen
Andaza

By Sumayya Usmani

Published 2023

  • About

At college I was surrounded by girls who constantly talked about their perfect wedding and all that marriage would bring them: the outfits and the jewellery, the freedom from their father’s rules. As soon as they got a rishta (proposal), marriage mania took over; it was as if education was merely a stop-gap and all their aspirations of studying disappeared overnight.

For most girls in Pakistan, marriage was arranged, which meant their parents sought out good matches, often intent on bringing together two well-to-do families or forging business relationships; sometimes it was just about making sure the couple were well-suited for a marriage that might last. If they were lucky, the girl would get to meet the boy they were to marry beforehand; otherwise, the first time the bride and groom saw each other would be on their wedding day.

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