Steps for Planning a Persian Marriage

Appears in
top 1000Food of Life
Food of Life

By Najmieh Batmanglij

Published 2011

  • About
  1. Set the wedding date, budget and location together with both families.
  2. Choose a theme, a color, and a flower, and use them throughout the ceremony.
  3. Set a budget and choose a bridal gown.
  4. Get in touch with the holy man who will perform the ceremony (it could also be performed by any respected member of the family).
  5. Get information about the state’s marriage laws.
  6. Get medical examinations.
  7. Make a guest list including addresses and emails. Usually older people are invited for aqd (marriage-contract ceremony), and younger people are invited to the reception (arusi).
  8. Reserve a place for the reception. Keep in mind that aqd is always in the home of the bride’s parents or that of her close relatives. Arusi is hosted by the parents or relatives of the groom. However, the aqd and arusi can be at the same location. Choose a beautiful, cosy place, inside or outside, for the aqd.
  9. Print and mail invitation cards. Hand out an explanation of the traditions of a Persian wedding to American friends (available for print out at, http://www.mage.com/cooking/pwc.html).
  10. Arrange food catering. You may photocopy the jeweled rice (javaher polow), or sweet rice (shirin polow) recipes in this book to give to your caterer. If your caterer has any questions on preparing the rice, you may have them contact me.
  11. Arrange pastry and flower catering and photography or video.
  12. Get in touch with musicians.
  13. Make an appointment with your hairdresser and your makeup artist.
  14. Make arrangements for the transportation of gifts.
  15. Choose and buy a gift for the bride/groom. If you are a member of the groom’s close family, you must give a gift to the bride (traditionally jewelry or family jewelry) and vice versa.
  16. Arrange a wedding shower (usually arranged by close family or friends of the bride).
  17. Prepare a bridal registry. Check with major department stores and specialty shops. Don’t feel bad about registering with a department store—the wedding shower is an old Persian custom still practiced in the villages of Iran. A few days before the marriage, an old wise woman of the community goes around with a large bag and collects gifts and household items for the newlywed couple-to-be to alleviate financial difficulties they will face starting their new life. However, it is quite all right to arrange a wedding shower by close friends or relatives.
  18. Send out thank-you notes, including to those who helped you.