Hostess with the Mostess

I may have more of a passion for throwing a party than I do for cooking (gasp!). I am a junkie for a theme party. While I was pregnant with my first child, I’d get asked, “Are you nervous about the birth?” Or “What are you doing about childcare?” People always remarked how eerily calm I was about all the big stuff. The reality was, all I could think about was how big his baptism party would be and what the invitations would look like.

• Everyone loves a good cocktail napkin. Every Southern woman loves a monogrammed one. There’s a saying in the South that “if it ain’t movin’—monogram it.” In my house, even my dogs’ collars and children’s shirts are monogrammed, so . . . I keep holiday cocktail napkins in labeled ziplock bags and have a bag specifically for monogrammed napkins for those off-season get-togethers (I’m talkin’ to you, January and September).
• Keep the diffuser running and scented candles on hand. A house feels cleaner when it smells nice, and there’s just something inviting about a flickering candle. Also—toddlers are smelly, and so are dogs. Ain’t no shame in hidin’ it.
• Always have sparkling water or sparkling mineral water in the fridge for your nondrinkers or pregnant friends. Champagne for everyone else, duh. If they don’t like either, then why did you let this crazy person into your home?
• Always have ingredients on hand to throw together a charcuterie board last minute. Keep an array of the following on hand at all times: cheese, olives, pickles, pepper jelly, pimiento cheese, good crackers, nuts, cheese straws (they keep in the freezer forever). This is why having pickled things around is key (they keep forever). And if it all goes to hell in a handbasket, pop some corn and dump it into cute bowls. If your guest doesn’t like popcorn, then why did you let this crazy person into your home?
• For the love of green, get some plants. They create an inviting, relaxed atmosphere—plus they’re good for the air in your house. I’m not saying you have to have a full-blown greenhouse like I do (it’s a problem I’m not willing to admit), but even you brown-thumbers can keep a snake plant alive.
• Even if you don’t have children, if you have friends with children, try to keep a few juice boxes and kid-friendly snacks around. It’s beneficial for everyone when children are fed and entertained. Whiny, hungry kids are the worst!
• Buy a record player and invite guests to pick a record. Ella Fitzgerald, Johnny Cash, James Taylor, and Van Morrison never disappoint. Bonus points? Make it a drinking game.
• Collect soft throws in pretty patterns. Keep them in baskets for guests to grab if it’s chilly. They are also great to throw on that old couch with the stain you can’t get out.
• Always prep food for more than you expect. Add two if you’re planning on ten, five if you’re planning on twenty. I’m not much of a bettin’ person, but odds are it’ll get eaten.
• If you’re planning to host outside, also plan to not host outside. It pains me to watch people frantically setting up their furniture, cleaning the living room, and moving things this and there when the skies decide to open up. Have your backup room ready to go in the event that you’ve gotta change your plans. Worst-case scenario, your room is spotless to enjoy after the party.