Chocolate

People tell me that chocolate affects the same part of the brain as sex. That explains people’s passionate addiction to it, though personally I’ve never really found that there was much of a competition - of the two, sex is infinitely preferable. However, I do have a very soft spot for chocolate, and no doubt in my declining years it will be some sort of compensation prize.

I did, however, once work for a woman who was so besotted with chocolate that she would ring me up in the middle of the night to ask me if I knew whether there was any chocolate in her house, or if I had any chocolate about me. And sometimes, in extremis, she would send me down, long after closing, to the village shop or pub to buy her some chocolate. It was in the days of my drinking, and she would say to me: “I understand about your gin. It is just like me and chocolate.” So perhaps there’s something in it after all.