Hot Buttered Crumpets with Pressed Caviar

My Russian uncle used to tell me about his time in the Imperial Navy eating caviar. At the entrance to the officers’ mess was a huge basket of bread and a 15-kilo wood cask filled with caviar. He thought he had landed in heaven, and every time he went in or out he would swipe a piece of the bread in the caviar. As in all good things passing, after a few months he couldn’t stand the sight of a f