Spanish salad

• ½ iceberg lettuce, roughly chopped
• 2 hard-boiled free-range eggs, peeled and thickly sliced
• 2 medium ripe tomatoes, sliced o

Chuck the iceberg into a large bowl and scatter the eggs and all the vegetables over the top, keeping back the tuna so that it can be plonked right in the middle. Season, then dress with vinegar and oil (ideally, these will be in one of those naff condiment carriers that might also contain damp salt and dust-like black pepper). Eat and wait for the arrival of your fried sardines.