Poulet Roti

That’s roast chicken, numbnuts! And if you can’t properly roast a damn chicken then you are one helpless, hopeless, sorry-ass bivalve in an apron. Take that apron off. You do not deserve to wear the proud garment of generations of hardworking, dedicated cooks. Turn in those clogs, too.

Perhaps I’m being a little unfair. Perhaps I’m being unreasonable. Given that ninety-five percent of the chickens roasted in this country are clearly the result of insensitive and murderous ove