Ragù Alla Bolognese

The standard British spaghetti Bolognese is a relentlessly gloomy affair. Take one over-the-hill onion, and maul, before dumping into searing vegetable oil and cooking until the edges are burnt and bitter and the centre resolutely hard. Do the same to a couple of cloves of garlic, then throw in a packet or two of economy mince, all grey and gristly. And overcook. Remember to overload the pan, so the meat boils rather than browns. Only then will you turn the beef into the rubbery, bovine pel