Deep Fried Broccoli

• 250 g broccoli, florets broken into little pieces, stalks cut into batons
• 2 litres rapeseed oil

Make a batter by frantically whisking together the flour, salt and sparkling water. You want it to coat your finger so that you can still see the detail of your knuckle. Sounds mental, but try it — it works a dream each time. Too thick? More water. Too thin? More gram flour.

Heat the oil in a high-sided saucepan until it is 180°C or until a flick of batter sizzles satisfyingly in the oi