Lobster

I once heard a farcical story of 2 girls left to boil a couple of gigantic blue lobsters while their men friends left the house on an armed ramble.

The dizzy cooks thought it sensible to remove the yellow rubber bands from their Goliath claws and plopped the apparently drowsy creatures into the rolling water. They had unwittingly unleashed a terrifying scene unparalleled by any story from distant oceans.

The enraged, scalded and half-red lobsters levered themselves from the upturned pot, with the kitchen now resembling a Turkish bath. Through the swirling steam flashed their crimson claws, slashing wildly in revenge and confusion. The sound of their fearsome snipping was said to be deafening.