Like most people I have Deliciously Ella and Hemsley and Hemsley on my shelf, bought in an effort to be more virtuous. I seldom cook from them. Then, I was in Oxfam the other day and I saw Clarissa Dickson Wright and Jennifer Paterson looking regal on a motorbike and I thought that’s who I want to teach me how to cook! As Clarissa says: ‘Never trust a thin cook’. Some of the recipes are hair-raising, such as the penis stew, but others look more appetising and they are all delivered with a fag in one hand and plenty of humour.