“Ruth, honey,” bawls “Hoppin’ John” Martin Taylor over the phone to Ruth Fales at the Pinckney Cafe in Charleston, South Carolina. “I’m sending two hungry friends over for pamenuh cheese sandwiches, so pile it on heavy.” Of course, every Southerner thinks he or she knows what constitutes perfect pimento cheese, and even the few non-Southerners who know what the spread is can have a very resolute idea of how it should be made. In the South, PC is used for sandwiches, turned into dips and festive balls, and incorporated in burgers and breads, but never is it more popular than when spread on crackers or stuffed into celery for cocktail parties. While self-styled experts add everything to it from minced onion, garlic, hot peppers, and olives to horseradish and Tabasco, I say there’s still nothing like the simple, classic PC that I make at least once a week and keep in the refrigerator. Without question, it’s the most distinctive and sensual of all Southern spreads.