I wouldn’t want to be a Belgian. Tintin was always inferior to Asterix, and Poirot dreamt up by an English Dame. OK, so Jean-Claude Van Damme is a kick-ass legend. And they’re good with mussels, chips and beers. And feeding those great bloated Eurocrats who infect the EU. But please don’t bang on about their chocolates. They all taste the same – overbearing and smugly rich. Still, their beer’s alright. Choose a decent one for this dish, something with a bite of bitter. A go