• 8 large beef tomatoes or courgettes
• anchoïade or tapenade
• breadcrumbs
• olive oil

Halve the tomatoes and deseed them – keep the seed and jelly so that it can loiter unloved in the fridge for a few weeks before developing mould and getting chucked. Stuff with tapenade or anchoïade: fill up every aperture, as the actress said to the bishop. In both cases the ‘sauce’ should be mixed 50/50 with breadcrumbs. Put them in an oiled gratin dish and spray with more oil. Cook at 140°C for 50 minutes. They are best eaten lukewarm.

Courgettes are susceptible to the same treatment. Cut in half lengthwise then incise them lengthwise as deeply as possible without puncturing the skin. The stuffing may require extra oil to make it pliable enough to push into the incisions. Cook for slightly longer than tomatoes: 60–65 minutes.