7:30 A.M. Fried Stuff

Alexis is about to fry cinnamon-sugar doughnuts, but she wants to see what happens if she throws a raw croissant in the fryer. When she does, it immediately puffs up, bigger and rounder, browner and crisper than the ones in the oven in a fraction of the time. She thinks it’s genius. She gives me a look that says “Why haven’t you thought of this?” I just shake my head.

She tastes it and her face quickly goes from an excited smile to a look of horror. It’s the most disgusting thing she’s ever eaten. It tastes of butter and frying oil, and it’s oozing grease from its still-raw insides. It wasn’t exactly the “cronut” she’d expected.